Tips for dealing with fatty and sugary foods this holiday season

pandalot:

1. Eat it
2. Eat it all
3. It’s the season of pumpkin and cranberry and peppermint everything
4. Fuck the magazines that try and guilt you with the “Christmas 8” or whatever they’ve made up
5. And fuck anyone who chirps at you and asks “do you REALLY need that second helping of green bean casserole?”
6. Oh and cupcakes make a great cheap/last minute gift for any occasion (you can even make them vegan!)

Congratulations you have all the tools you need to deal with holiday food this year.

Saint Patrick’s Day is literally the stupidest holiday ever.

Bunch of inexperienced drunks using an excuse to get wasted all day = annoying shit at work all day, lots of drinking and driving, and lots of dumb accidents that didn’t need to happen. Seriously, grow up.

I’m boycotting by drinking a mother fucking gin and tonic. I’m only wearing green because they made me at work.

Suck it, Saint Patrick’s Day, you have become a joke of yourself.

My Christmas party!